Potty Training Resistance
Another common problem experienced during the potty training journey is resistance to part or all of the process. Children might be cooperative with urination, but reluctant to do bowel movements other than in his diaper. Other toddlers may seem completely clueless about the whole thing, or have massive tantrums when you try to get him to sit on the potty. Getting to the bottom of toilet training resistance requires patience.
What causes resistance to potty training?
1. Not ready – children are ready for potty training in their own time. Attempts to train too early can result in resistance to potty training.
2. Pressure to be competent too quickly – if you were expecting potty training to be completed by now and it is not, you may be putting undue pressure on your little one.
3. Inconsistent approach – it is easy to set off with a hiss and a roar, being consistent and persistent, but over time consistency can wane. Also, children that are in daycare may be experiencing a different approach when away from home. This can easily cause confusion.
4. Stress in environ – if there is a major event going on in your child’s life, such as a new sibling, divorce, house relocation…or even that he is moved out of his cot into a ‘big’ bed, he may be experiencing stress. Stress makes it difficult to concentrate on learning new skills – for both children and adults.
5. Impatience to meet deadline – deciding in advance how long the process will take puts pressure into the process which can have a detrimental affect on everyone. It sets the process up for disappointment.
6. Terrible twos – toddlers have a reputation….if your toddler is going through that phase, that is uncooperative and prone to tantrums, he will not do anything he does not want to do.
7. Motivation – is your child motivated to give potty training a go? Have you really sold it to him?
8. Fear – the bathroom is an unfamiliar place for many toddlers. Some children are afraid of the sound and rushing water of a flushing toilet.
9. Constipation – if your child is happy to urinate in the potty but is unwillingness to do bowel movements on the potty or toilet this may be a result of constipation.
Tips to combat resistance to potty training
1. Readiness – recheck for signs of readiness. Your toddler might just not be ready, and waiting another month or so could make all the difference.
2. Buy-in and offering choices – get your toddler involved. Let him choose his own ‘real’ knickers and a book about potty training. Ask him what rewards he would like if he manages to ‘go’ on his potty. He is more likely to try if it is a reward he wants.
3. Consistency – ensure that you and any other carers have a consistent approach. Ensure that you allow the time to be consistent in your own approach. Regular reminders and changing wet and soiled clothes immediately do help your child learn.
4. Motivation – if you have not done it already, introduce rewards for desired outcomes. Some children respond to star charts and others to small sweet treats. Use what works for your tot…and is agreeable to you.
5. Remove stress and pressure, and replace with patience and encouragement – the alternative of frustration and impatience will achieve nothing.
6. Role playing with toy – use one of your child’s toys to role play the toileting process, then get him to show his toy himself. Role playing serves two purposes, the first being that you can observe and understand where there may be more training required, and secondly, your child will have more of a sense of ownership and power over the process.
7. Don’t leave wet – change your toddler as soon as they wet or soil. If they are left in a dirty diaper or knickers they may develop a tolerance to being wet/soiled which makes them unmotivated to change their toileting habits.
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